This is the second collection of Famous Last Words from GameWyrd. It’s a sample of some of the more popular contributions from over 1,200 submissions.
The original list would let registered Wyrdlings vote on which famous last words they thought were the best. We’ve not been able to bring that function over to Geek Native but please do comment below and let us know which ones you like or dislike!
| Famous Last Words: | Contributor: |
| “Well, look at it this way. Its a Draco Lich right? That means that it has died once already…” | Takamatsu |
| Ummm….dude I think you just killed their king. | RavenMoon |
| DM- You hear a noise behind you. The red dragon you were fighting looks behind you and runs out of its cave.
PC1- All right, whats next?? |
TrogdorTheBurninator |
| What do you mean “Watch out for giant trapdoor spiders?” Giant trapdoor spiders? I’ve never heard of anything more ridiculous in all my life! |
Wyrdmaster |
| “Oops! Wrong spell…” | Jazia |
| “It’s only a baby dragon.” | Dragon7398 |
| GM: “The winged demon grabs ahold of PC2 and flies around the roof of the apparently large cave with him.”
PC1: “I cast fireball at the demon.” |
sChi |
| DM:The walls of this room are set to have gravity change when touched, hence, you touch the wrong wall and you can pick up speed indefinitely until you hit the sequence that doesn’t bounce you.
PC1:If I jump on the walls I’ll eventually fire at a high enough velocity that I break through a wall and we can get out right? I jump on the left wall panel, guys, Res me when I die. DM:After twenty minutes you fire at mach 10 through a wall. PC1: How much is left of me? DM:Your hat. PC1: Damn PC2: I call dibs on the hat. |
Tannerhaus |
| “So what if he calls the guard? A backwater town like this can’t have a very big militia.” | Donka the Donk |
| I can only fail on a 1! | Vampiress |
| “That’s only a statue” | Donka the Donk |
| “No, I’m sure there’s some stipulation that says a disintegrate spell won’t work if the spellcaster casts it on himself. Here, I’ll prove it.” | Donka the Donk |
| I’m gonna psy. throw myself at the demon at mach 1
GM: ok, you’re goo, and your sword’s broken. Not my sword! |
MethieBethie |
| Is that thunder or you rolling damage? | lifeinthefastlane14 |
| “OK! I moon the Balrog!” | Donka the Donk |
| They don’t exist. | Vincenzo |
| “How powerful CAN an Great Wrym be????” | thescrollkeeper |
| DM: Ok. The Water Weird has you under the surface of the water and his choking you. You’ve lost your sword and can’t seem to find it.
PC: I’ll cast shocking grasp on him. |
slaader |
| Troll: Send forth your best Riddler!
Mage: I’m our best Riddler! Troll: I hate riddlers! (smashes the Mage with his spiked club). |
Rhaegar |
| “We don’t have a thief. I guess I will have to check for traps the hard way…” | Adrastia |
| PC1: The Dragon looks dead.
PC2: Is it breathing. DM: You can’t see. PC1: Dude we killed it. PC2: It could be playing possum. PC1: Its a dragon its not that smart. I go up to the dragon & poke it with my sword |
ax_e |
| “The Gnome I bought it from guaranteed that it would work.” | Sarinh |
| “Hey! Don’t open that… Ah well.. Bye.” | DJ Fireflash |
| (DM:”You here a rumble”) A rumble?, ok i lay down on he floor what ever it is, it will jump over me. (Seconds later the player was flatted by a large boulder.) | halamic |
| “Avoid it? Why? This green slime tastes better than I thought. What?” | General Sage |
| Insane PC: ARE YOU ONE OF THEM?!?
Sane Confused PC: No! I swear I’m not! Insane PC: THEN NOW YOU DIE!!! |
Pieh |
| She’s just a stupid nymph. What can she do to us? | Pink |
| I’m sure the “tomb of horrors” is just a name to scare off Tourists | FS_Vegeta |
| PC1: *walks into bar* Hey shorty that’s my seat.
(to a dwarf) |
Jimmylx |
| “What do you mean there’s no handle on this side of the door!” | Sarinh |
| GM: This Elf Ranger wishes to join your party. What do you do?
PC1 (Halfling leader): You must shoot the apple from the dwarf’s head. GM: The roll failed. |
Kite |
| “Those noises are probably nothing.” | Donka the Donk |
| PC1: Demons don’t scream they make noises like “ooh, eee”.
PC2 & PC3: Ah ah ching chang walla wall bing bang |
Shadetree |
| I use receptive telepathy on Cluthulu! | valavaern |
| “$5 for a fishing trip to Innsmouth? Count me in!” | Chiv |
| “Don’t be stupid, who gets killed by a trap they set themselves” | Chyrnabok |
| “Is it just me, or did that wall move?” | Karsis |
| “My God will protect me.” | Donka the Donk |
| All right you worthless fighters, get behind me. I’m a WIZARD! | Nine of Hearts |
| “After calculating the ratio of “bad” items in the DM’s Guide to good items and adding to that the fact that all the items we’ve found so far have been beneficial, I’ll put on the ring” | Sarinh |
| I hope I tasted good. | Gregimous |
| PC1: Hehe, I’m gonna so screw the princess. But don’t tell the King.
PC2 points behind PC1. PC1: Oh, shit. He’s behind me isn’t he. |
DKnightZero |
| “I don’t know how much explosive to use, just put the lot on.” | GawainEmrys |
| :The Mage pointing at the Fighter:
“I’ll fight to the last drop of his blood” |
Nanteen |
| DM- In front of you you see a red portal, with what looks like 5 dragon heads surrounding it. As you walk nearer to it, you get the feeling of foreboding coming from it.
PC1- I walk into the portal. DM- You are now looking into the eyes of an endless amount of Tanar’ri. PC1- I attempt to disbelieve. |
TrogdorTheBurninator |
| I rolled a one, that’s good, tell me that’s good, stop looking at me like that, I’m going to go and write a lament about this horrible event I may be some time | gurgi |
| Halfing Highwayman: I raise my hand and speak out to the oncoming party, “Stop right there!” | Kite |
| “Wait a minute, didn’t the old man say something about a curse?” | Donka the Donk |
| Pc1: How many can you see?
Pc2:Roughly twenty or so. Pc1: open the gate (steps outside. Sees onrushing horde) You guys can’t count for shit!!!! |
Guttercrawl |
| “Don’t be silly. That kind of monster NEVER follows you.” | Donka the Donk |
| Look there’s only two of them, and four of us. | Broyaan |
| I have the antidote somewhere in this thing I think… | Kyle of Hyrule |
| PC: Can I go have sex now…?
DM: Uhhh… you do realize you’re in the slums… PC: yeah, I wanna go have sex though! DM: *roles a dice* You get laid and collect five diseases. PC: … WOOHOO!! |
Lopik |
| Evil Minion: State the meaning of life in less than 5 words and I shall let you live. Prisoner: The meaning of life. |
DoppleGanger |
| ” I attempt to disbeleave this so called balrog” | bejorkus ironballs |
| “You don’t look like a mage!” | Donka the Donk |
| “There is only three of them guys… C’mon!! How big can a bloody Tarrasque be any ways?” | Takamatsu |
| PC1: Send a Scout to count the enemy. Scout: (sees enemies charging forward) 1…2…3… | Killer13 |
| Captain: Now, pull the pin from the grenade and throw it!
Soldier: Okie doke. Captain: No!!! Throw the GRENADE not the pin, hurry throw it now!! Soldier: Sure thing boss. Captain: No!!! Not at me!!! |
DoppleGanger |
| “Look, there is no monster under the bed” (looks under the bed “OH SHIT!!” | KanDakorn |
| DM: You see a vile of liquid.
PC: I pour it on the table. DM: The table explodes. PC: I taste it… |
animefreak |
| DM: As you walk down the path toward the thiefs hideout, you notice a large field, a cow grazing happily. You look back to the hideout and notice the door is open.
Player: I go look at the cow. DM: It’s a normal everyday cow! It moo’s at you then goes back to eating. Player: I take the cow. |
Dior |
| Ctchullu? What’s a ctchullu? | HobinKobad |
| (PC1)Ok I’ll move throw the door. What happens?
(GM) you go throw the door you die! Make a new character. (PC1) Hmmm…. does this have anything to do with the ten pounds I own you? |
Anchent_one |
| {PC charging dragon}
PC : “For Honor, for King, for God.” Dragon: “For lunch.” (tho its gotta have been said before) |
Jimmylx |
| “Man….those eggs would make a killer ommelette……” | Karsis |
| Look, you kill me, sneak my body into the Temple, then cast resurect. | Broyaan |
| “Does anyone know Neutralize Poison?” | Sarinh |
| There came a point where we stopped mapping and just started running. | Nightbay |
| PC: I tell her that she is the most hideous creature I have ever seen.
GM: Oh sure! Just go ahead and insult the nymphs beauty. |
jakel |
| “Well I definetely didn’t expect that to happen” | jakel |
| Dont Worry, these gnome muskets hardly ever backfire. | furious_cheese |
| Thief: I strip down, pour all my poison all over myself
DM:uh,ok Thief:I attempt to leap into the dragons mouth. DM: oookay, you don’t even need a jump check, oh yeah, he hocks you up and uses his breath weapon to cook you. Thief: WHAT?! |
bejorkus ironballs |
| “All right, I jump…Now on the way down, I activate my ring of feather fall…no, wait, didn’t I lend it to Jim?” | Donka the Donk |
| “F*cking bitches…” -While walking away from a pack of Black Furies. | fyre |
| GM:”You found a strange portal.”
PC:”I look through it.” GM:”You see something beyond your wildest imagination.” PC:”Okay, How many tentacles does it have ?” {in sarcastic voice} GM:”I don’t know, how many tentacles does GREAT CTHULHU have ?” PC:”Er? As many as he wants? Too many?” |
Jimmylx |
| Max: Gee thanks for the job, Mr. Monroe! Say, that lady over there’s got a pretty nice ass, eh?
Mr. Monroe: That’s my wife. Max: No, not the blonde, I meant the redhead… I’d sure like some of that. Mr. Monroe: That’s my daughter. |
DoppleGanger |
| “Hey guy’s look the dragon’s licking me. I think it likes…(chomp)” | Dim_The_Wise |
| “Don’t worry, you should be able to disable the thermal detonators fast enough. Oh wait, I forgot you’re also stunned for a round. That’s not good.” |
Screaming_Bear |
| Wow I have never rolled up a better charactrer, he is the ubercharacter of all time…why do I need a save I was just shot with a Kobold arrow | tackle74 |
| I cast fire sacrifice ………… wadda you mean hes fire resistant | Darkon |
| “Hey! Look! I found a hole!” | Pieh |
| “surrounded by what?” | Lothoran |
| Don’t worry, the water can’t be that deep. | ChrystaBell |
| Player1: How many people does it have to kill before you believe its harmfull to the enviroment?
Player2: It depends, how many can we waste? |
milamber |
| True story. A truck wieghing 3 tons is rolling down the street when a player slips and falls in the middle of it.
GM: Make a speed check Player rolled failed. Truck gets closer GM: make another speed check Player fails. Truck gets even closer GM: ok make you reflex Player fails yet again. GM: Ok last chance make your luck roll Player rolls a 99 when less then 30 is needed Player: I have a helmet on does that help GM: sorry you get hit by the 3 ton truck and your helmet does nothing more then focus the splatter; you’re dead. |
comradbob |
| PC1 Not paying attention.
DM: Ok what do you do? PC1: Uh I cast fireball. DM: Ok you kill the King who was giving you the quest as his knights attack you. PC2: IDIOT. |
Nanteen |
| mmm.. mushrooms | DoppleGanger |
| Sweetheart, wasn’t that birthmark on your LEFT arm?? | DoppleGanger |
| pc1: Hey look theres a Bag of Holding falling from the sky!
pc2: Alright, lets catch it with my portable hole! dm: *shakes head in disbelief and dissapointment* |
Pieh |
| “‘Gelatinus cube’? That’s what EVERYONE says. ‘Hey! There’s a gelatinus cube behind you!’. Have you ever seen me get consumed by a gelatinus cube? Nooo… | Misoks |
| I think this Fire Balrog just needs a hug. | Kyle of Hyrule |
| I just need to make a system shock roll? I have a 98% chance of succsess! How can I miss… | Nightbay |
| Dr. Payne: “IT WAS COMING RIGHT AT US!”
Ship’s Engineer Hyman Seltzer: “BUT YOU COULDN’T WAIT UNTIL THE ELEVATOR DOOR _OPENED_ BEFORE YOU FIRED THE ROCKET?” |
ChristianShea |
| (Modern RP, party in city, actual events)
GM: You hear a loud, continuing honking. It’s getting louder. P1: There’s no cars anywhere around. P2: Good thing I’m on the sidewalk. P3: *passes note to GM that reads: I look up* GM: *counts and sends back letter* “You see 10 tires.” P3: I walk about 20 feet into the road. GM: A school bus lands on the party, except you *to player 3 P3: And that’s why I don’t steal drugs from 10 year olds… |
Sin Schism |
| “Aw! It’s cute!” | Dior |
| PC 1: Lets check the box for traps and try to open it!
PC 2: No you idiot, why would I disarm it when I could bring it to town and have the locksmith do it for me? PC 2: I will take the box and put it in my backpack. DM: As you pull the box, a chain attached to the box is pulled out of the ground. You hear a door opening… |
DoppleGanger |
| PC1:”A little help guys Im almost down to 0 HP here.”
PC2 Half-ogre:*steps up with an impish grin* “Me fix.” |
Dim_The_Wise |
| PC1: alright, I hand the universal tools for disarming the bomb to my fellow Glass Walker.
PC2: alright, I disarm the bomb. Its blue to yellow, right? DM: your still in your full werewolf form. PC2: So? DM: Dogs are color blind. PC1: Oh sh-… |
Galactor |
| “I think he can be trusted.” | Donka the Donk |
