GameWyrd had over 1,200 suggestions and memories of “Famous Last Words” of NPCs and PCs from all sorts of roleplaying games.
This collection is the third archive saved from the original GameWyrd and brought over to Geek Native. One advantage of the new blog post format for this list (and a whole famous last words category) is that its easier to skim through the list and get straight to the end.
Which is your favourite so far?
| Famous Last Words: | Contributor: |
| “I still have 5 hit points le…” | Dreliak |
| PC:”I’ll put my lantern on the altar.”
GM:”Your lantern explodes.” PC:”I’ll sit on the altar.” |
Yoshiro |
| No, really. I’m sure it’s dead. Well, go poke it with a stick just in case. | Killer13 |
| DM: … and he opens a door to the elemental plane of fire.
PC: Hey, a door, I run up to see if it’s locked… |
Papaganoush |
| (PC)I’ll open the dang door!
(DM) Um, you notice the sign says: deactivate trap with this switch, and there’s a huge switch next to the sign (PC) I can’t read. |
verpoolisch |
| “Let’s see here was it the green wire or was it the blue….hell they all look grey to me” | Alucard87 |
| “ok im going to tackle this fungus man.” | Jaxm |
| Great Orc? I don’t see what’s so great about it… | Fynder |
| DM: As you stretch out for the boots inside the glimmering sphere, you realize that it is a sphere of disintegration. Your left hand is now gone.
Cleric: Damn. Swashbuckler: You’re not doing it right! Here, let me show you how to do it! (stick both his hands into the sphere) |
Rhaegar |
| What do you mean, the red wire and not the blue wire. I’m colorblind. Oh well, it’s 50:50… | Mentor |
| A little bit of this and a little bit of that. HAHA! I have found the perfect way to make an alchemist fire tennis ball. | jakel |
| You cowards! It can’t be that hard, what is Odin’s AC? | Vampiress |
| DM: In the middle of the cave, you see a pond. Suddenly a tentacle breaks the surface.
Barbarian: It’s a watermonster, so fire will be harmful to it right? I throw my lantern at the tentacle. Cleric: Umm.. Has anyone else remembered to bring some light? DM: Nope.. |
Rhaegar |
| What the hell is a “Vecna”? | bejorkus ironballs |
| Judge:”Defendant…How do you plead?”
PC:”…fireball.” |
Dim_The_Wise |
| Archer: “Would you mind stepping out of the way? I’d prefer to just shoot your chieftain rather than you.” | cmdrwhitewolf |
| (In a recent All Flesh Must be Eaten Game..)
Trading for goods with Russian Sailors… PC1:What do we have to trade? PC2:I bet these guys haven’t seen a girl in a while… PC3(only female in group: I heard that! |
Sa’kina |
| Which ones the 20 sided die? | Caladrin Atredes |
| Dragons are nothing I can kill them with my pinky finger…What are you guys looking at….Oh crap he’s behind me isn’t he. | Caladrin Atredes |
| No problem. Psionicists can’t effect non-psionicists. Hey put my arm back on! | Myst |
| What do you mean, Terrasques are herd beasts in your world?!? | Aravalar Eveningfall |
| Famous last words never start with “True story” and are typicaly “to-the-point” thus never span five lines……. | Ylorea |
| This is aggressive. I am aggressively running away. | WhiteWitch |
| Don’t worry, only a fool of a General would have his landmines placed here. | Wyrdmaster |
| I can’t believe how ugly you guys are! Get back into the sewer! | Vincenzo |
| {inside a dark dungeon}
PC1:”Allright, I’m holding on to PC2’s shoulder.” PC2:”No you aren’t.”PC1:”Is that your shoulder, PC3 ?” PC3:”Nope.” PC1:”That’s bad. ‘Coz I’m definitely holding on to someone’s shoulder !” |
Yoshiro |
| PC 1 : Oh its only a skeleton.
PC 2 : Then why is it floating in the air? |
Halosoulfire |
| Pc1:”It looks like every Orc in the army has a Falchion…”
Pc2:”We have nothing to worry about, everyone knows only the most powerful Orcs are given Falchions.” |
Pieh |
| Oh, come on. It’ll be easy. I’ll pick that skinny guy in the red robe’s pockets, you distract the big guy in the armor. Who’ll ever catch us? | Pink |
| Dont be silly. No ogre is fast enough to hit a gnome! | Sarn |
| “I drank WHAT?!?!!?” | Ithil |
| But, it’s an elf! Their sooo small! They can’t hurt me! | Drakono |
| What are you guys scared of? It is just a dog with tentacles. | Lance Penzdragon |
| Well, if it is only one beholder . . . | Nightbay |
| Remind Me how many goblins were chasing you, Only I think they may have brought a couple of friends | gurgi |
| Look at this really nice dagger I stole of Fain. Oops. I cut myself | Syri Kalin |
| Don’t worry green dragons are vegetarians… | Celestial |
| That looks edible. | Yashira |
| “ok im gonna sneak up on this Beholder…..and when i kill it from behind you reach up and drag it away. ok?…..go now…” | Jaxm |
| YAH right like a GOD would attack us. | Nanteen |
| “Pah! I spit at your God! I don’t believe in him, so he can’t hurt m—-ZAP!” | Karsis |
| PC1: I kick the dragon in the balls.
PC2: I smoke my weed. DM: Are you kidding?!?!? PC1: Nope, if I’m gonna die I’ll at least have a story to tell. |
Tannerhaus |
| Hah! Dont worry, we Dwarves know how to fight Giants! | Vincenzo |
| Are you sure I don’t see it coming? | Vincenzo |
| Don’t worry. I’m a hero to these people! | Wyrdmaster |
| I’ll take the little one. | Xdisk |
| I don’t want to fight y…. | moocowrx100 |
| Oh crap, not again! | hellfury |
| I’ll be fine; it’s not like a poisionus, rabid spider can kill me. | Iceman |
| The obsidian alter has hundreds of faces locked in eternal anguish carved into a relief upon it. On the altar is a dark green emerald with a hexagonal cut that seems to absorb the light from your torches into it. A feeling of unease and great evil permeates the air around the gem.
PC: Well I know you want me to pick it up (chronic metagamer) so instead ill just smash it with my mace! |
Lunar.Wolf |
| “The rock did not crack the ice, therefore the ice is safe to walk on.” | DoppleGanger |
| DM- You enter the musty cave of the Dragon
PC1- Its quiet here… too quiet PC2- *yells* Hey guys where are you? *DM shakes head in utter disbelief and ponders his decision to become a DM* |
jakel |
| True story: guest player to DM, can I parry lightning? | bejorkus ironballs |
| Leader of the Villians: “We’ll let you go free if you just let go of the paladin’s scepter and leave the castle right now.”
Paladin: “Listen, maybe if I say it louder this time you’ll understand – *We’re taking the scepter you stole from me back*!” |
cmdrwhitewolf |
| “Uh, Guys… how long have we been falling?” | Pieh |
| “OKay, now wait a minute, I always confuse these two buttons” | thescrollkeeper |
| “I’ll throw a stick at it!” (It being a giant furry looking long-necked dinosaur with rather large teeth.) | shuranius |
| (pc 2 pc) Let me help you… | Evil Cleric |
| (PC) Can I go and get drunk now? | Acidic Plague |
| You… did…. WHAT?! | Joiless Oubliette |
| PC1-“I know a way to get that cursed ring off of ya…”
PC2-“Really? That’s Great! How?” PC1-(Draws sword) “just stick out your hand and close your eyes…..” |
Karsis |
| “Hey you! Frost Giant! How’s the weather up there?” | Donka the Donk |
| Tarrasque? What’s that? | Lance Penzdragon |
| “You couldnt see them so you put the fire out, why? Ohhhhh your infravision. Works great against snow trolls doesnt it…” | Takamatsu |
| Hmn lets see a large purple door floating on a pink cloud with steps is this foreshadowing some horrible event or something | gurgi |
| But it’s in there. What do you mean its not a good idea to fire a particle weapon in to the reactor?? | Anchent_one |
| GM: “Two Brotherhood Paladins exit the elevator, weapons slung over their shoulders. They seem suprised to see you.”
Gary: “Roll my bluff. I’ll tell them we’re with Brotherhood Internal Security.” |
Ibrus Voight |
| DRAGON!!!!!. . . I shut the door.:-) | Nanteen |
| GM: There is a door ahead of you with a sign on it reading, “CAUTION: DO NOT OPEN”
TROUBLESHOOTER: I open the door. GM: Are you sure you want to do that? TROUBLESHOOTER: Okay, I knock first. GM: There’s no answer. TROUBLESHOOTER: I open the door. GM: …to a reactor core. You all die. OTHER TS: HEY! We were way in the back, we should still be alive! |
BlackWolfe Coyoten |
| (hiding in closet of girlfriend’s bedroom)
achoo! Father: What was that?? Daughter: Nothing daddy, just my pet bunny. |
DoppleGanger |
| (Player kisses DM’s girlfriend, albeit jokeingly)
DM: Make a fortitude save. |
SmashTheDean |
| “Ah, you worry too much.” | Jade |
| Monk to Rouge: “SpellCasters can’t swin, right?” | Pieh |
| “They sure look tied to me…” | DoppleGanger |
| I go off alone. | bejorkus ironballs |
| PC2 to PC1: Distract him so i can think of a plan!
PC1 to Necromancer: sooooo screwed any dead bodies lately? |
Azriel Firehand |
| (Call of Cthulhu)
PC1: Thank god it rolled a one,it means it misses me right? Keeper: It means you get to choose which limb you lose. |
Raineman |
| Deity: “Am I going to have to kill one of you to prove that I am truly a god?”
Player: “No, that would just prove your an @$$. We know that already.” |
Moto42 |
| DM: That flying broom you found dumps you on the floor and whacks you over the head for 1d3 points of damage.
PC1: I run away. DM: It follows you and whacks you again. PC1: I wait for it to stop attacking so I can put it back in my bag of holding. (PC1 was beaten to death by his own cursed magical broom) |
Tannerhaus |
| ME?!!!? I thought YOU brought it!!!!!! | Ithil |
| Yeah right! Trollocs are too stupid to use a catapult | Knightfall |
| I’ll take the big one! | Xdisk |
| “What does this button do?” | Archy |
| PC1: what is that noise?
pc2: just the wind PC1: oh, okay… |
Mat_Ravnos |
| (While climbing Rapunzel’s hair up the tower)
“Don’t get me wrong, you’re very pretty, but long hair is so last century…” |
DoppleGanger |
| PC- It’s legend right?
DM- Yeah. PC- Then it should be real old and weak. I attack it. |
jakel |
| DM: The Stone Golem advances towards you.
Swashbuckler: That’s okay. I’ll charge it with my rapier. |
Rhaegar |
| DM: Your raft is ready. Do you take off your platearmor before attempting to cross the lake?
Knight: No. We better be ready in case something attacks us. |
Rhaegar |
| PC: “Death comes to all but me!!!!!!”
DM: You hear a knock on your door. PC: I open it. DM: There is a grinning skeleton holding a sythe outside it. He has a little nametag that says DEATH. |
White_Pheonix |
| Stormtroopers wouldn’t be able to see me in the dark.. they’d need Infrared built into their Helmets | victorbot |
| How do you spell S.O.S? | aeneas |
| Player 1: I’m going to blow his house up.
Player 2: I don’t think he’ll be impressed. Player 1: He will be if he’s in it. |
Bobckat |
| I’m starting to believe in devine intervention, 5 “1’s” on a D20 on a row……… | gilibran |
| “Stand back you wimps. I’ll kill it.” | Donka the Donk |
| “I’ll cast fireball at them!!” *~*~* “Uhhh Tarin…they just pour ale all over you….”*~*~*~*”So?”*~*~*~* VAHFOOOMMMM!!! | Katherine Areashon |
| Quick! To the car!….. Umm… dude, where’s my car? | lifeinthefastlane14 |
| “Oh come on, how much damage can she do in an afternoon?” | madaxe_mcbrutal |
| DM: The friendly Kobold you just smacked with a door stumbles blindly out of the cave and is assaulted with a barrage of arrows from the archers then falls down a flight of stairs. Aren’t you proud of your selves? | DevilLogic |
| Don’t worry. I’m sure R&D wouldn’t have given us it if they weren’t sure it would work. | Aratos |
| “What do you mean they cut the power? They’re just animals!” | General Sage |
